Day 8 post op

Hi people! Thanks Jen for posting updates for me, and thanks to everyone for following along with your good wishes and love and strength. I quite needed it. Surgery was harder than chemo by a long shot, partially I think due to the fact that I was still only weeks out of that badness. (more…)

Hello see ya

A quick note on this first day of December before I get surgery tomorrow. I will be in the hospital and offline for at least 5 days, and then will clock out with more days of being under pain meds and restricted movement, so I’m not sure when I’ll be back in the larger world beyond my bed. (more…)

Peacetime adjustments

Amazingly and mysteriously, this last round has been the easiest. Symptoms have been spotty and milder, I got out of bed faster and have been running around town days earlier than before. Still not back to normal (ask me about my eye twitching, it’s charming) but it feels safe to say the worst is truly over. Which means that things start to change in ways that haunt me and echo with a fear that has been dormant for years. (more…)

Coming out from under

It never gets old, coming back out into the world after treatment, seeing my life with fresh (albeit twitchy and tired) eyes. I descend from the cave of the upstairs bedroom, delighted again to see the decor of our still relatively new home. I curl up on the couch in the TV room, still rather too exhausted to do much more than hang out, but I get to see new pictures and pillows and faces besides my own. (more…)

4 Down

It’s day 10, nadir day when everything is supposed to be the lowest of the low, and I am out of bed. I had coffee and eggs this morning, and I’m not doubled over in crampy pain. I spent most of yesterday out of bed too, rewatching “Deadwood” with John. [If you haven’t watched it and don’t mind constant profanity, check it out. I am utterly delighted by it again.] (more…)

Almost halfway home

Third infusion was yesterday and it went smoothly. I hummed along working on a Photoshop job throughout most of it – time flew. I have been doing a lot of that, maybe too much, this last week: pushing through the sicker aspects of my days into chores, work, and ye olde beloved volunteer gig of helping produce the school play. (more…)

NOW it’s 2 down

That was a long stretch. I went in with a glimmer of hope that it’d be easier, but it was not. Bloody noses were cut down from 15+ to about 3, so that’s good. But other than that everything was the same. Hard, long, unrelenting. (more…)

#2 down and yet just begun

I was remarking to my friend Jenna on the way home after the infusion yesterday that it doesn’t quite feel like an accomplishment to have gotten the chemo itself: yesterday was a pretty easy day. Jenna and I had a lovely time visiting, I ate and drank well, we played cards and read and talked and laughed at everyone’s jokes. We had a Wonder Woman photo shoot and caught up. (more…)

The hair

I have gotten some very sweet, supportive feedback about my writing; people often remark about my honesty and how open I am in sharing what I’m going through. Then I had a talk with my dear friend Beth, who is reading along from afar, and she was shocked to hear that I spent 9 days in bed. (more…)